Transvestia

sleeping with other men, and I began to worry about that despite the fact that she had made possible my epi- sode in female attire, she would begin to scorn me for it, particularly when comparing me to normal men. On her weekends home she gave me indications of this, still making love to me whenever the opportunity presented.

Other than this I had every cause to be content. I again had long hair, and unlike in my childhood when it was nearly a year before I had hair of a decent length, this time I had begun with a feminine hairdo almost from the start. By the following summer it was shoulder len- gth, worn in the style I liked most, parted in the center and turned under at the ends. Sometimes I wore it with an "Alice" band, and once in a while I tried it put up in a french pleat or roll. I also liked this style, but it was generally troublesome to do properly, and only worn when Nicola or Iris did it for me.

Anyway, despite my enjoyment generally, I realized that it would have to end sometime if I was to make any- thing of my life. My digestive troubles had disappeared, so that I ceased to have a good excuse to stay on. Along with with drifting apart from Betty, I was getting rest- less with living on the farm. Also Nicola was now going seriously with a boyfriend who came visiting quite often. Although I was sure she would not tell him, I was still nervous lest he accidently discover my true sex. Then when she was talking about getting married there arose the possibility of selling the farm.

The time had come, I thought to get out. Again I was heartbroken at the idea of sheering my hair, and I considered every way of keeping it long. I thought of the possibility of continuing to live as a woman in London but realized that because of my school record and HHS card I could not possibly find employment without dis- closing my true sex.

Finally I made the break and with the goodbyes all around, I gathered my courage and cut my hair short. This was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life and even at the age of twenty-one I nearly cried. My hair was an average length of about fourteen inches, and I knew that it was highly improbable that I should

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